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Ghostbusters – Sanctum of Slime

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Ok, we all know movie-inspired video games are usually doomed to fail.  Hey, are you going to play the new game based off the family movie hit, "Rango?"  Yeah, I thought so.  How did those "Harry Potter" games treat you?  More like, "Harry Pooper," right?  More often then not, "movie games" are laughable. 

But over the years, the "Ghostbuster" franchise has bucked the trend.  The early 8 - bit Ghostbuster game playable on PC, NES, and Sega Master system was a blast.  The later adaptation for Sega Genesis was pretty well received.  More recently, the Ghostbusters full retail game for Xbox 360 and PS3 was met with mixed.. but mostly postitive reviews.

Now, we're given "Ghostbusters - Sanctum of Slime."  It's a downloadble title you can pick up now.  To quote the immortal lyrics of Ray Parker Jr., it's "something weird, and it don't look good." 

To be blunt, it feels like Atari just pulled this one out of Slimer's ass.  I know, we've come to expect so much more from the company that brought us unforgettable, childhood changing classics like E.T., the *original* home version (ha!) of Pac-man, and the revolutionary console with so much power, it could only be called "Jaguar" (well, at least it had Doom, I guess).

Irony aside, the game is lackluster.  After firing up the demo, I could only get through about five or so minutes.  It's that bad.   

Much like "Zombie Apocalypse" or "Dead Ops Arcade," Sanctum of Slime is a top down shooter.  You and your friends are in control of the Ghostbusters.  No, not the iconic characters you've come to know and love... you play as rookie ghostbusters.  The characters have no depth and to make matters worse, the story unfolds by way of comic book style illustrations.  No voice work.  No animation.  Just plain old comic book pages.  It's a technique that ensures you'll never give a damn about the game's narrative.

That's really Sanctum's downfall.  You never really *feel* like you're playing a Ghostbuster game.  The enemies are generic, bearing little resemblence to anything you've seen in the movies. My understanding is that boss battles are better but core gameplay levels are simply boring.  Level *design* is "been there, done that."  In the demo, I think I was busting ghosts in an insane asylum or something.  Whatever, it was just a top down multi-room map, funneling me to my next room. 

The controls are competent and responsive.  The difficulty is set a level which is managable, yet challenging.  Sadly, it's a challenge this souless game doesn't inspire you to take up. 

There is some good news, though.  Atari was able to license the original theme song, which plays during the "start" screen.  Sweet.  So if you really have to, you can justify this purchase by saying you bought a $9.99 mp3. 

I'm normally not this harsh but trust me, skip Sanctum of Slime.  The boring gameplay will annoy you but Sanctum's inability to tap into the essence of "Ghostbusters" may enrage you, especially if you're a fan of the movies.   

DLC? K.I.S.S.

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If you listen to the Gamers Riot podcast, you know how many of us feel about downloadable games.   Normally,  you buy em’, you play em’ for a solid couple of weeks, then they collect dust on your hard drive.

Remember when I played you that one time? That was AWESOME!

Sure, there are exceptions (Super Meat Boy), but

the truth is, very few downloadable games command your attention week after week, month after month.  Most don’t come packed with the content we’ve come to expect from retail games.  To add insult to injury, the little buggers can get pricey.  Sure, $15 never seems like a lot of cash, but if you’re only playing the game for a week or so, are you really getting your money’s worth?  Let me put it in perspective for you.

I spent $15 to crash the castle. Money well spent.

Then…  about a month later…

I got this on sale for 20 bucks and didn't leave my apartment for three months

While fun, plenty of downloadable quickies are “traps.”  All sizzle, no steak.  The worst offenders are the old school beat em’ ups.  How tempting is X-Men Arcade?  Or Final Fight?  Or Turtles in Time?  Don’t let your sense of nostalgia get the best of you.   After about five minutes of jump kicking dudes, you’ll be ready to put the controller down.

I don't even need to tell you how much this sucks now.

Another inevitable trap you run into is a dwindling community.  Sometimes, it doesn’t take long for a downloadable to go stale, even if it’s a ton of fun.   You’d still be playing it, if everyone else was still playing it.  But they’re not, so you’re not.

Hello? Anyone wanna play? Hellooooooo.....?

I’m intrigued by the trend.   I love watching the new, hot downloadable games drop each week.  And I love watching people forget about them six days later.  So much so, in fact, that I made it a little quest of mine to find those downloadables that bucked the trend.  The ones that keep you coming back again and again.  You know what I’ve found?  The “simplest” games are the best.

For example, I just downloaded the newest version of Tetris to my PS3.  Of course, you get the classic game.  But the package comes with “challenge modes,” multiplayer, and better graphics (obviously).   Win.  Before writing this, I played for about an hour and a half.  It felt like twenty minutes.  I’m sure I’ll get bored of it after a while, but I know I’ll pick it back up months down the line.  It simply has that kind of replayability.

Then, there’s this little guy.

Oh, hell yes

What’s more pure, more basic, than Pac-Man?  If you own an xbox 360 or ps3, you need to buy this game.  You will never NOT want to play this game.  No matter how old it gets, the gameplay is so engaging, so simple, so addictive, you will come back to it again and again.

Hey developers, keep it simple.  I mean, Dead Nation is sweet, but i’m not going to play it forever.  Worms is fun for a few days.  Take a look back to when games were addictive at their core. When the gameplay was undeniable.

Give me new takes on Donkey Kong.  Dig Dug.  Galaga.  Pong, for crying out loud.  Throw in acheivement/trophy support.  Classic games are built for the downloadable scene.  In my opinion, releasing more of them will only strengthen consoles, and more importantly, introduce a whole new generation of gamers to the rich beginnings of our beloved industry.